Bystander Behavior

I have been a bystander to many things in all kinds of situations. I have been a bystander in class. When a teacher makes a mistake on the board, instead of correcting them I correct it on my paper without saying anything. This could cause others to make the same mistake the teacher has if no one says anything. I have been a bystander to friends smoking, doing drugs, or drinking alcohol. Instead of telling them its not healthy and that they should stop, I allow them to continue. I feel this doesn't make me a good friend if I'm not honest with them, but I also feel that it is not my place to tell them how to live their life, so I get torn in between. I have been a bystander to gossip as well as a gossiper myself within my family and at work. This is an action that many people do, but it is wrong if it is bad gossip that degrades another person. I have been a bystander to a heated argument between friends or family. Throughout my life I have sat by and watched many things happen that I disagree with, and I felt it was best to just keep quiet and not put myself out there.

I remember one instance when I was in 1st or 3rd grade and I was playing with my friend Gabie, we were at the slides running around and being silly. Well, we started to throw rocks up the slide seeing how far they would go and how fast they could make it up to the top. We were having fun until I threw one up and didn't realize that there was a boy at the top, so the rock hit him on the face. I felt horrible and was going to apologize, but he looked mad. He started down the slide with such anger that I took off running. He chased me for a ways and finally knocked me to the ground, but the teacher on duty was only 5 yards away and saw him chasing me. He got in trouble and I did too for throwing rocks, but I was in fear for my life the whole time this happened, and my friend Gabie was no where to be found. I wish she would have stood by my side and helped me in my time of need. I understand that we were young and we were both small compared to this older boy, but I felt like I was abandoned by my friend that day.

I think college students don't speak up against wrong doing because they are afraid to stand out. Everyone wants to fit in and be cool with their friends, and standing up against their friends or anyone else makes them vulnerable. I think people are afraid of what others think of them. Going against bystander behavior is hard because the outcome is not always clear. Taking a chance to change an action could lead to something worse and not better. I am definitely not one for confrontation, so I would never put myself in that type of situation unless I felt really strong about it. Also, colleges hold thousands of students on campus, and if several people see something wrong they expect someone else to step in and correct it. (Diffusion of Responsibility) The main and overall reason why students don't step up is because of fear. The fear that they will lose their social standing, reputation, and friends keeps them from standing up.